[Humor] Management Decisions

Once PVNR (PV Narasimha Rao), L.K. Advani and Laloo Prasad Yadav were travelling in an Auto Rickshaw. They met with an accident and all three of them died.

Yama was waiting for this moment at the doorstep of death. He asks PVNR and Advani to go to HEAVEN. But, for Laloo, Yama had already decided that he should be sent to HELL.

Laloo is not at all happy with this decision.

He asks Yama as to why this discrimination is being made. All the three of them had served the public. Similarly, all took bribes, all misused public positions, etc. Then why the differential treatment?

He felt that there should be a formal test or an objective evaluation before a decision is made; and should not be just based on opinion or preconceived notions.

Yama agrees to this and asks all the three of them to appear for an English test.

1. PVNR is asked to spell " INDIA" and does it correctly.
2. Advani is asked to spell "ENGLAND" and he too passes.
3. It is Laloo's turn and he is asked to spell "CZECHOSLOVAKIA".

Laloo protests that he doesn't know English. He says this is not fair and that he was given a tough question and thus forced to fail with false intent.

Yama then agrees to conduct a written test in Hindi (to give another chance assuming that Laloo should at least feel that Hindi would provide an equal platform for all three).

1. PVNR is asked to write "KUTTA BOLA BHOW BHOW ". He writes it easily and passes.
2. Advani is asked to write "BILLY BOLI MYAUN MYAUN". He too passes.
3. Laloo is asked to write "BANDAR BOLA GRRRRRR....." Tough one.

He fails again. Laloo is extremely unhappy.

Having been a student of history (which the other two weren't), he now requested for all the 3 to be subjected to a test in history Yama says OK but this would be the last chance and that he would not take any more tests.

1. PVNR is asked: "When did India get Independence? ". He replied "1947" and passed.
2. Advani is asked "How many people died during the independence struggle?". He gets nervous. Yama asked him to choose from 3 options: 00,000 or 200,000 or 300,000. Advani catches it and says 200,000 and passes.
3. It's Laloo's turn now. Yama asks him to give the Name and Address of each of the 200,000 who died in the independence struggle.

Laloo accepts defeat and agrees to go to HELL.


Moral of the story:

IF YOUR MANAGEMENT HAS DECIDED TO SCREW YOU, THERE IS NO ESCAPE.

Online Public Grievances Lodging and Monitioring System

Do u know that Government of India has a online Grievance forum at http://darpg-grievance.nic.in/?

The government desires people to use this tool to highlight the problems they faced while dealing with Government officials or departments like Passport Office, Electricity board, BSNL/MTNL, Railways etc.

I know many people will say that these things don't work in India, but this actually works as one person found out.
The guy I'm talking about lives in Faridabad (Faridabad is part of NCR and is in Haryana). Couple of months back, the Faridabad Municipal Corporation laid new roads in his area and the residents were very happy about it. But 2 weeks later, BSNL dugged up the newly laid roads to install new cables which annoyed all the residents including this guy. But it was this guy who used the grievance forum to highlight his concerns. And to his surprise, BSNL and Municipal Corporation of Faridabad were served a Show Cause Notice and the guy received a copy of the notice as well. All in one week. Government has asked the MC and BSNL about the goof up as it’s clear that both the government departments were not in sync at all.

So lets use grievance forum and educate others who don't know about this facility. This way we can at least raise our concerns instead of just talking about the 'System' in India.

Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Try to read this....very interesting.

fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55% of plepoe can.

i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. if you can raed tihs forwrad it.

[RECEIVED IN AN EMAIL]

Investment in Stock Market

As I was a bit relaxed today, I decided to analyse my financial investments in Mutual Funds a bit deeper. As the stock market is making a very volatile trend, it also makes sense to check it regularly.
I am a member of valueresearchonline.com. It is oriented towards mutual funds in India and one can join it for free. It is an excellent source of research on mutual funds. For members, it offers a Portfolio Tracker as well as a Watchlist where one can track its choice of funds.
My portfolio consists of

• ABN AMRO Opportunities Fund
• Fidelity Equity Fund
• Franklin India Prima
• HDFC Taxsaver
• Magnum Contra
• Pru ICICI Taxplan
• Reliance Equity
• Reliance Growth
• Sundram Midcap Select

So, I have added all these funds in my watch list as well. Besides, it has following funds as well:

• HDFC Capital Builder
• HDFC Equity
• HDFC LT Advantage Fund
• HDFC Top 200
• Sundaram Growth

As I started comparing the returns of the funds over different period, I was amazed at the outcome. I compared for 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, 3 months, 6 months and 1 year, and I found one winner in all the periods :). but ,alas, other funds have not performed so well in these periods, especially since the downfall of the market started

I Day Change


1 Week Change
1 Month change


3 months change
6 Months Change
I Year change

The story about an Employee, an Organization and Money

When the very affable, 32 year old Priyanka snapped at Suryanarayan, the HR head, when the young 23 year old Arjun put in his papers, when the 48 year old accountant Paresh was rushed to the hospital with a mild heart attack – all these events happening during the normal working day, Suryanarayan did not see a pattern.

Prima facie there seemed to be no pattern to the three separate incidents. However, there was a connection.

Priyanka was going through a tough divorce. The bum she married was at last leaving her. But he was unemployed, and the house belonged to him. She had a job, a kid, and no house. Her parents were partially dependant on her. She was getting no alimony, there was no balance in the bank, and she was a financial mess.

Arjun had committed himself to some EMIs hoping for a decent raise. He was now paying off an education loan, a car loan, a vacation loan and an occasional credit card spend. Seeing the pattern of the past 2 years, he ‘assumed’ his raise would be Rs. 4,000 per month. It turned out to be Rs. 1,700 per month. Arjun was devastated. His immediate reaction was to find a new job. He had no clue where, how or when that new job would happen. He had no option of going back to the nest. His parents had smartly shifted to a smaller house to a the boomerangs. They did not want the kids coming back and eating into their nest egg. Very un-Indian thought Arjun, but that was the rule. Arjun was a financial mess.

Paresh was a very meticulous man and had nicely saved a lot of money. It was in safe avenues – post office, PPF, voluntary PF, National Savings Certificates and so on. He had a decent house, handed down by his father, and was financially well off. Well sort of. His spouse and three children were a source of joy only for the first few years of their lives. They had made him an ATM (automated teller machine) and made impossible demands on him. His eldest son had flunked college, trained as a cameraman spending Paresh’s money, had got married, and was unemployable. Paresh used all his resources but his two sons, one daughter, wife and an ailing mother had sapped him. He was underinsured, severely stretched, had no medical insurance. Paresh was a financial disaster.

When Surya saw the cases in detail and when the common thread running through them struck him, he asked himself a classic HR question:

When does the company step into the personal financial lives of its people?

He had no clear answer.

On a Thursday evening, finding his CEO (Chief Executive Officer) in a good mood, Surya brought up the question of the company’s role in the financial lives of its people. The CEO told Surya “Remember Gaurav Shah, our operations guy who joined a BPO? Last week he died of a heart attack. He was all of 38.”

The CEO was very clear that personal financial learning, stress busting, yoga and things that the employee needed should come from the employee’s own time and cost. He went on to add “Surya, we hire good, smart, aggressive guys who can bring business. If they are so smart, let them take care of themselves”. Surya felt a little defeated.

He thought to himself, “If 99% of my staff here is working for money, and I am willing to teach them how to talk, how to hold a fork and spoon, which hair oil to use when in USA, then how come I am not teaching them money management?”

He had no idea. One on hand, the CEO was right. As an organization, we provide employees with a regular income. Our role ends there. How they choose to use that income is their calling. They ought to take up responsibility for prudent financial management. But on the other hand, the incidents left a dent in the company’s HR policy. After all, whatever the reasons, high employee turnover was not healthy.

But by now it was 9 pm. He had to head home. Another 1-hour journey. But as he hit the car he thanked himself for one good decision. He now had a driver.

He sat down in the back seat and chuckled at his designation. He also remembered what his CEO told him “Do not ask me whether I have a heart. I don’t know. Ask my shareholders. They are Americans. Their lives and their dollars are measured by quarters…Q1, Q2, Q3, Q4. They look not beyond the short term”

His eyes closed. Jagjit Singh poured out his heart on the 5 track CD player. Tomorrow was another day.

Article courtsey MoneyControl.com